Cats Have No Lord

Renegades & Razzcals (Playtest)

The following is a rough playtest edition of this game for anyone interested in helping test and refine the mechanics. It will be updated in the future as the rules are improved and lists and tables are expanded. Send any feedback to catshavenolordgames@gmail.com

Renegades and Razzcals

The world was normal once. Before the second sun rose. Before magic and monsters filled the land. Before dragons raised dungeons to house their hoards of treasure.

Now, it is not, and the people have gone strange with it. Warriors turn to enchanters to enhance their bodies with ungodly numbers of arms. Razzcals cast spells until they literally burn themselves alive. Thieves tinker with dangerous artifacts of a bygone age they barely understand. All in search of gold. More and more gold.

What a world!

What Is This?

This is a weird fantasy tabletop roleplaying game in the “old school” style. This text assumes you know what that means and that you’re the type of person with deep opinions on random encounter procedures. That means no additional explanation of the playstyle or procedures are included, only the parts that are new; do it the way you’ve always done it, pull procedures from your favorite games, or make up something of your own.

The game is built to be roughly mathematically compatible with material for games such as Old School Essentials or the 1981 Basic/Expert (B/X) edition of Dungeons & Dragons. For rules not covered in this text, refer to one of those other games or live a little and make a ruling.

Future updates may add more unique rules and procedures specific to this game, but they should always be easily replaceable with more familiar rules as needed.

Basic Mechanics

This game is designed around the idea of unique mechanics powering each class, and most relevant mechanics are detailed in the class descriptions, but there are a few shared between all classes unless explicitly superseded by a class mechanic.

Classes

There are currently three classes, but more will be added.

Renegade

Renegades are magically enhanced multi-armed swordfighting fanatics.

Character Creation

To create a renegade, roll 3d6, this is your Swordarms (SWD) ability score representing the number of magical arms you have to wield blades (each comes with a sword). Roll 1d4 and assign a random sword tag to that many of your swords.

Sword Tags

Sword tags are descriptive tags granting special powers to swords. Each sword may have only one tag. If unclear, players should agree on the mechanical effects of a tag. In addition to the list here, players are encouraged to collaboratively add more tags to their game or to adapt the description of magical weapons from other sources into sword tags.

This will eventually be a d100 list

  1. Abrasive - Center of the blade is a roughened surface and may be used as a large file without damaging the cutting edges.

  2. Alarming - May be activated to serve as a proximity alarm for up to 10 hours. Flashes red and makes a loud sound if any creature enters a 500 ft. perimeter around the sword while activated.

  3. Anchoring - Shaped like a ship’s anchor and may be driven into the ground to prevent the bearer from moving.

  4. Answering - Contains a sentient spirit trained on the entirety of the world’s written content and able to talk to the bearer of the sword. It is eager to provide answers to questions asked of it but has a 50% chance of providing misleading or incorrect information. Surprisingly good at poetry though.

  5. Ballooning - Blade inflates with a lighter-than-air gas for 10 minutes, capable of lifting the bearer off the ground but not any additional weight.

  6. Biggest - Very big sword; does 2d6 damage.

  7. Binding - Blade can magically wrap itself around another creature and immobilize them. Sword cannot be used to attack while being used in this way.

  8. Boring - Blade is a large drill bit and may be used to bore holes in the ground or through stone.

  9. Cackling - Inhabited by a sentient spirit obsessed with bad jokes and with a loud, cackling laugh that most find extremely unnerving.

  10. Calming - Creatures touched gently by this blade are mentally soothed and relaxed. Has only a 25% chance of success on a creature currently fighting the bearer of the sword.

  11. Charging - Each round of combat this sword is not used, it builds up an electrical charge, adding +1 damage to its next attack. Charge dissipates at the end of a combat.

  12. Chilly - Blade is very cold and can briefly freeze small objects or parts of creatures it touches. Freezing only affects the part of a creature’s body touched by the blade and lasts for 1 minute.

  13. Dazzling - Blade releases clouds of ephemeral glitter when swung quickly. Clouds dissipate in seconds but can obscure vision or surprise opponents.

  14. Defensive - Inhabited by a protective spirit that moves the sword automatically to help defend the bearer. Add 1 to your current SWD for the purposes of calculating AC in combat.

  15. Delicious - Sword is made of candy and can serve as rations. If eaten, the sword takes d4 days to regenerate and cannot be used during that time.

  16. Diplomatic - Inhabited by a curious and intelligent spirit that can speak on the bearer’s behalf in difficult social situations.

  17. Earthshaking - Blade has a thick, blunt end that may be used to slam the ground and cause a small earthquake in the immediate area.

  18. Explosive - Blade can explode, dealing 3d6 damage to those nearby or blasting a hole in a wall up to 5 ft. thick. Blade takes d4 days to regenerate after exploding and cannot be used during that time.

  19. Extravagant- Sword is made of gold. Not actually very good as a sword, but may be sold or melted down or used to impress others. Contains 2,000 gp worth of gold.

  20. Eye-Popping - Once per day can cause a nearby creature’s eyes to explode.

Combat

Renegades select a number of targets within 5 ft. up to their current SWD value. They dedicate one or more swords to each target up to their current SWD value in total between all targets.

For each target roll 1d12+X with X being the number of swords dedicated to that target. Attacks succeed if the modified result is equal to or greater than the target’s AC.

Swords deal 1d6 damage each unless modified by a sword tag.

Inventory

Renegades have a belt with pouches to hold gold pieces (gp) and other small items that can reasonably be stashed in a pouch or strapped to a belt, but they cannot otherwise carry items apart from their swords. Frankly, they aren’t interested in much beyond swords and gold anyway, except maybe some healing potions.

Advancement

Renegades may pay Razzcals to add additional Swordarms to increase their maximum SWD value. Recovery from the procedure requires one week of rest. The first costs 500 gp, and each additional Swordarm costs twice as much as the last Swordarm. Basic swords are easily acquired and it is assumed each new swordarm comes with a basic sword.

Renegades may also pay 2,000 gp to add a sword tag to a sword that does not currently have a tag.

Razzcals

Razzcals burn with an indescribable unpredictable power waiting to be unleashed with the right words.

Character Creation

To create a Razzcal, roll 4d6, the result is your Razzmatazz (RZMTZ) ability score representing the magical energy you can expend to cast spells. Take a number of random spells equal to half your maximum RZMTZ value.

Get a standard deck of 52 playing cards, you’ll need that too. Draw a hand of cards equal to your RZMTZ number, this is your spellcasting hand.

All Razzcals are warped physically by their Razzmatazz, roll at least once on the table below for a distinctive physical trait. Players may roll multiple times if desired.

D66 Weird Razzcal Traits:

1-1 Pig nosed

1-2 Elongated arms

1-3 Body completely covered in fur

1-4 Big head. No, bigger than that.

1-5 Faintly glow in the dark skin

1-6 Extra row of teeth

2-1 Bird beak

2-2 Extraordinarily wrinkly

2-3 Chicken's legs

2-4 Asymmetrical finger count

2-5 Technicolor rainbow hair

2-6 One crab claw hand

3-1 Goat eyes

3-2 Tiny, nonfunctional wings

3-3 Inflatable frog throat

3-4 Owl-like head rotation

3-5 Veins, arteries, & capillaries fully visible

3-6 Anglerfish lure on forehead

4-1 Duck bill

4-2 8 toes per foot

4-3 Compound eyes

4-4 Dorsal fin

4-5 Giraffe horns

4-6 Skinless head

5-1 Elephant ears

5-2 Pupil-less eyeballs

5-3 Insect antennae

5-4 Scaly skin

5-5 Camel hump between shoulders

5-6 Hat/hood fused to head

6-1 Tapir trunk

6-2 Hooved feet

6-3 Snake tongue

6-4 Nonfunctional gills on neck

6-5 Spiny back

6-6 Split lower jaw

Combat and Blood Magic

Razzcals are not great in non-magical combat, but each carries a hidden dagger that is sacred and unique to them in materials and design (each player should describe their Razzcal’s dagger). These daggers are enchanted and used primarily for blood magic rituals, but may also be used as a last resort in combat if they cannot cast a spell in the moment. To attack, roll 1d20-1, succeeding if equal to or greater than the target’s AC and dealing 1d4+1 damage on a successful attack. The blood magic enchantment transfers life energy from the target to the Razzcal, restoring lost RZMTZ equal to the damage dealt. Blood magic rituals may also be completed outside of combat to the same effect.

Spells

Spells are magical phrases in ancient forgotten scripts and languages written in books, scraps of free bark, tattooed on a Razzcal’s thigh, or wherever else they might fit.

A Razzcal can permanently memorize a spell to cast at will by reading it out loud. Spell names are the in-game incantation for the spell and must be read out loud when memorizing and shouted each time casting the spell or it is not effective.

A Razzcal can memorize a number of spells equal to their maximum RZMTZ value. If they have already memorized their maximum number of spells, reading a new spell out loud replaces a spell of their choice in their memory. Most Razzcals are therefore careful to never read a spell out loud until they are ready to memorize it.

Spells function based on the number of cards from the same suit [SUIT] and/or total [SUM] of cards played to cast them (see spellcasting below). In addition to the spells listed below, any spells made for use with the Goblin’s Laws of Gaming (GLOG) or compatible games (e.g., Mausritter or Perils & Princesses) may be used, replacing references to dice with cards.

Spells List

Many more spells are planned, and you can also make or adapt your own.

  1. A Mystical Magical Favor - Turns [SUIT] nearby creatures into a random body part roughly the same size as their normal body for [SUM] hours.

  2. Blinded By The Light - [SUIT] targets must save or be blinded by a bright flash of light for [SUM] minutes.

  3. C Is For Cookie - Conjures a 3 ft. diameter cookie floating in the air and following the caster, carrying up to 500 lb. Lasts for [SUM] minutes.

  4. Dark Like My Soul - Creates a sphere of magical darkness with a radius of [SUIT]x10 ft. in which non-magical sight is impossible for [SUM] minutes. May be cast on an object and moves with that object.

  5. Do You Smell Something - Anything within [SUIT]x20 ft. currently affected by an enchantment emits a pungent odor for [SUM] minutes.

  6. Flame On - Creates a [SUIT]x10 sq. ft. cube of fire emanating from a point of the caster’s choosing. Deals [SUM] damage to all creatures inside the shape and ignites all flammable material inside the shape. May be changed to a different element by replacing the word “Flame” with an appropriate alternate noun.

  7. Go Webs Go - Conjures [SUIT] thick, incredibly sticky, multilayered webs, each covering a space of up to 10 ft.. Webs block passage through that space and trap any creature in or moving into that space. A creature stuck in the web requires [SUM] minutes to break free.

  8. Hold Me Closer Tiny Monster - [SUIT] nearby creatures are paralysed for [SUM]x10 seconds. Hugging a creature while paralyzed maintains the paralysis beyond the end of the spell effect until the hug ends.

  9. I Object - Cancel magical effects within [SUIT]x25 ft. May be cast as a reaction to another caster in the process of casting a spell. Casters must succeed on a save against a target number of [SUM] in order to override.

  10. I Can Tell That We Are Gonna Be Friends - [SUM] creatures become enchanted and view the caster as a trusted friend for [SUIT] hours and will defend the caster if needed. They will obey reasonable commands that do not harm them or go against their natural inclination (players must agree on what is fair).

  11. Just Us Trees Here - A group of [SUM] creatures in a 300 ft. area are hidden by an illusion making the area appear like a grove of trees, even when other creatures pass inside the grove. Creatures who leave are no longer hidden. Lasts for [SUIT] hours.

  12. Let There Be Light - A point of light equivalent to a torch shines for [SUM]x10 minutes. May be cast on an object and moves with that object.

  13. Not The Bees - Summons all bees within [SUIT] miles of the caster, who will swarm and obey commands from the caster for [SUM]x10 minutes.

  14. Now I’m Over Here - Teleport yourself and [SUIT] other creatures to a point [SUM]x10 ft. away.

  15. Petrichor - Change the weather in an area [SUIT]x1,000 ft. around the caster for [SUM]x10 minutes. Players must agree on what is acceptable for how extreme the weather may be.

  16. Pew Pew Pew - Fire [SUIT] magical projectiles at up to [SUIT] targets within 100 ft., each dealing d4 damage.

  17. Ribbit Ribbit - Turns all rocks within [SUIT]x5 ft. of the caster into frogs for [SUM] minutes. Frogs are roughly the same size as the rock that was transformed. Frogs will obey all commands by the caster.

  18. Think Happy Thoughts - A creature touched by the caster (including themselves) can fly for [SUM] minutes.

  19. Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me - Restore 1d6 lost ability score points each to [SUIT] targets or restore [SUM] lost ability points to a single target. Each target must be physically touching the caster.

  20. You Shall Not Pass - Conjures a wall made of an element of the caster’s choosing lasting for [SUM] minutes and extending [SUIT]x200 ft. If made of a non-solid element (e.g., fire), creatures may pass through but take [SUM] damage when doing so.

Spellcasting

To cast a spell, the Razzcal plays a number of cards from their hand up to their current RZMTZ value. For each card played from their hand, they must also play the top card off their deck. If their hand is empty, razzcals may only pull cards from the deck to cast.

All cards used to cast a spell are discarded after casting and are only shuffled back into the deck after resting for at least 8 hours. Razzcals may also discard as many cards from their hand as they wish and draw new cards up to their current RZMTZ value after resting for at least 8 hours. When resting for at least 1 hour Razzcals may discard up to half their hand and draw new cards up to their RZMTZ value.

Spell effects are based on the number of cards in the same suit [SUIT] and/or total numerical value [SUM] of the cards used to cast the spell. Aces count as one. Face cards do not count toward the sum.

Different types of cards also affect how a Razzcal draws to replenish their hand after casting.

When playing aces, twos, threes, and fours Razzcals draw a new card for each played from their hand after casting.

When playing fives, sixes, and sevens, Razzcals do not draw a new card and temporarily reduce their current RZMTZ value by 1 for each.

When playing eights, nines, and tens, Razzcals do not draw a new card and move the top card from the deck face down without looking at it to their DOOM deck for each played from their hand.

Face cards double the value of all other cards played to the cast the spell but also trigger a spell mishap. Razzcals do not draw a new card after playing a face card.

Mishaps

  1. Your hair is replaced by wisps of smoke that obscure your vision.

  2. Your nose disappears permanently, must breath through your mouth.

  3. Your hands are replaced by those of a random animal.

  4. Lower half of your body replaced by a giant snake tail.

  5. You lose all memories prior to casting this spell.

  6. All plants die temporarily within 5 ft. of you, but come back alive when you move away.

  7. You are permanently hovering 6 inches above the ground or other surfaces.

  8. Your eyes move to the back of your head.

  9. You can see in the dark as if it were normal light, but normal light becomes painfully bright to you.

  10. Your torso grows three times longer, but all other body parts stay the same length.

DOOM

Frequent use of magical energy eventually burns a Razzcal up from the inside. This is represented by their DOOM deck. Cards in the DOOM deck remain face down until used.

Cards in the DOOM deck may be drawn to cast spells at any time, but the Razzcal takes [SUM] damage from all DOOM cards played. This manifests as a blinding multicolored fire briefly engulfing the Razzcal.

If the number of cards in the DOOM deck equals a wizard’s maximum RZMTZ they must immediately play all the DOOM cards, taking [SUM] damage.

Most Razzcals wait until their DOOM is nigh and expend it all in a final burst of powerful magic.

Inventory

All Razzcals wear a magical backpack with an extradimensional space inside capable of holding items up to 1,000 lbs. of weight and/or 100 cu. ft. of volume while weighing only 10 lbs. in their dimension. Consequently, Razzcals usually carry most items for their party. Just make sure to get the bag before they go up in flames.

Advancement

Razzcals may increase their RZMTZ through a secret and expensive ritual requiring 1 week of solitude. Materials for the first ritual to increase by 1 point costs 2,500 gp and each subsequent increase costs twice as much as the last.

Spells typically sell for 5,000 gp at magic shops.

Gadgeteer

Gadgeteers are resourceful scavengers wielding ancient magitech tools in their covert treasure gathering.

Character Creation

To create a Gadgeteer roll 3d6, the result is your Gadget (GDT) ability score, representing your proficiency with your magitech Gadgetool. Gather a pool of coins equal to your GDT.

Gadgetool

Gadgetools are incredibly rare, semi-sentient, living mechanical symbiotes that attach themselves to living beings they deem worthy. Each Gadgetool consists of a number of complex gears, levers, and tools encased in a wearable, wrist-mounted body. Every Gadgetool has common component tools like lockpicks, scissors, screwdriver, etc… (players may agree on which specific tools are present as needed). Each Gadgetool also has a single unique ability that can be utilized once per rest (roll on the Gadgetool table to determine yours).

Gadgetools defend, and fight on behalf of, their wearers using their tools as improvised weapons (d4 damage). Loss of GDT from damage reflects damage to the Gadgetool. Gadgetools self-repair at the rate of 1d4 GDT per day and may also be repaired by feeding them scrap metal during a rest of at least 1 hour regaining 1d4 GDT. They may fully repair all damage instantly by cannibalizing another Gadgetool. If doing so, roll for an additional Gadgetool power.

Gadgetool Abilities

  1. Flattens you like a sheet of paper for 1 minute

  2. Launches a single Teleporter Stone that allows you to switch places with it at any point along its trajectory, one time. Must use within 1 minute.

  3. Turns you invisible & undetectable for 30 seconds.

  4. Allows you to phase through all solid matter for 30 seconds.

  5. Projects an indistinguishable & undetectable false double of yourself nearby for 1 minute, or 30 seconds to project 3 duplicates.

  6. Alters your image and voice to match someone else’s that you know and have met for 5 minutes.

  7. Learn the exact type & location of each trap within 1,000 ft.

  8. Creates a visually convincing forgery of a single object you are currently looking at, by size, shape, and color. Weight and texture can be described, but won’t be exacting.

  9. Perfectly duplicate the very last magic spell you witnessed, originating from the Gadgetool, with your chosen targets.

  10. Completely silences all noise produced by yourself for 1 minute, or 30 seconds with the addition of up to 3 others silenced.

  11. Produce a large swarm of tiny, harmless, distracting creatures instantly (crickets, roaches, baby mice, bees, etc…).

  12. Shrinks a single human-sized object and everything inside of it down to pocket size for 1 hour.

  13. Touch a single object and make it ethereal for 1 hour. For that duration, it cannot be used, utilized, wielded, moved, touched, or interacted with in any way.

  14. Creates a bombastic auditory and visual spectacle in the direction of your choosing. While harmless, it is quite distracting & concentration-breaking.

  15. Records up to 5 minutes of auditory information. Can be played back at will, but all prior recordings are deleted upon the creation of a new recording.

  16. Produces a magical monocle that allows one to see through all illusions, as well as highlights magically imbued objects. Monocle dissipates after 20 minutes.

  17. Rusts and/or structurally weakens a single object instantaneously.

  18. Secures a single unworn and unheld object in place, such that it cannot be moved by any means whatsoever, as long as it remains within your eyesight.

  19. Instantly swaps a single handheld object in your hand with one held by someone else.

  20. Magically removes your eye, placing it in a spot you choose that you can see. It remains in place for 1 hour, allowing you to see from it for the duration, before it magically returns to your empty socket.

Gadgeteer Skills

Gadgeteers may use their Gadgetools to accomplish a variety of tasks that are not possible with a standard ability check. These include picking locks, climbing sheer surfaces, hearing distant or faint noises, hiding in shadows, or moving silently. Players may also agree on other skills to be possible.

To attempt a Gadgeteer skill check, roll 1d100 against a base target number of 30. Succeed on a result equal to or less than the target number.

Gadgeteers may risk damage to their Gadgetool by straining its capabilities to increase the chance of success. Invest 1 point of GDT into the skill check to increase the target number by 10. This may be done multiple times up to a maximum target number of 90. Place a coin on the table for each point invested in the check. On a failed check, all GDT (and coins) invested in the check are lost temporarily. On a successful check, flip all the coins. Heads are retained, while tails are temporarily lost. Coins are regained with GDT when resting per the basic rest rules or per the rules for repairing gadgetools.

Inventory

Gadgeteers wear a backpack and utility belt with a total of 10 inventory slots. Most common items take up a single slot, while several smaller items or 100 gp can occupy a slot together. Larger items may take multiple slots. Players should agree on how many slots an item occupies.

Advancement

Gadgeteers improve their GDT by spending time communing with and maintaining their Gadgetool. This requires a minimum of one week and incurs costs for materials for maintenance. Spend 1,200 gp for the first 1 GDT increase. The cost is doubled for each additional GDT point increase.

Credits

Written by Luke Simonds (Cats Have No Lord) and Creative Wronging. Text Š 2025 and licensed CC-BY-SA 4.0.